We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
