I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
