His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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