matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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