Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
