I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
