i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
