yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
