I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
