Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
