yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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