What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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