We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
