my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
