just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
