She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
