They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize