Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize