k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
