i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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