i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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