we're blogging at a bar
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
