Having a random hookup so left but love u
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
