I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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