Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
