theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize