Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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