Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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