I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just google imaged poop.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
