Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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