bring money and cleavage
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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