Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
