how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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