I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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