He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
