you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
