Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
