I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
