what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
