I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
