The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
