Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
