thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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