doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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