He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
