I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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