its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
