everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
