Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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