wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
