If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize