Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
