I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
