Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
