omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
