Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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